Last month I discussed making a choice and allowing the energy of the universe to line up behind this choice with commitment.  I closed with saying "making a decision - this is the true leap of  faith."

     I had several emails responding to this comment.  "What did I mean by writing the decision is the leap of faith?"  It seems that some people believe that a leap of faith requires action and lots of it.  Ultimately, leaps of faith produce the need for action, but initially the leap occurs in thought and choice; decision.

      I am currently in a situation that is at once empowering, confusing, gratifying, and frightening.  No matter what mental state or emotion is being inspired, however, the situation is requiring of me to continue a leap of faith that was begun some time ago.  In making my choices, my decisions, my leaps of faith, I leapt into a shadow experience.  Shadow often gives the most painful and attention getting lessons.  In knowing that what is resisted, persists, I realize that dark lessons occur because at some point I resisted my shadow aspects.

     A good while back, I became involved in a situation that after about three months I recognized was a shadow path.  It was the telltale angst of shadow that gave it away.  The frustration I experienced was from speed at which I was required to singularly work out closure/change of an energy path that I had had assistance in creating.  I initially questioned the imposed contract of not speaking or talking about the specific circumstances, but, when I saw the dark truth of this lesson, I came to the conclusion that this was actually a very viable and efficient agreement for negotiation this particular shadow dance.

     How does all this shadow stuff pertain to a leap of faith?  Well, my initial decision is this shadow experience was to close the energy path.  Closure occurs by changing the form in which energy exists.  I felt I had gained success in this energy changing by using gratitude, forgiveness (both of self and others) and acceptance.  I actually believed that my process was complete and this specific path had reached closure.  I learned that this was not quite true when recently the other party to this "not feeding the energy path" agreement chose to nullify it.  Their decision to re-open this shadow experience allowed me the opportunity to realize that I hadn't reached closure.

      The quickest and cleanest way to deal with and change energy is through direct communication.  In an effort to once again close this path, I made several futile efforts to directly communicate about the broken agreement.  For me, the lack of co-operation actually produced the feeling that it would be more convenient and less of a hassle to simply change my decision.  Forget about this closure piece.  However, this would abrogate my leap of faith.  My leap of faith is closure, no matter what action is required; I am committed to my leap of faith.  I find it interesting that the manner in which I am to achieve this closure is vastly different from my hope for direct communication and even the independent means through which I previously worked.  The combination of the reopening of this path and my maintaining my decision is creating a new opportunity through which to achieve completion.

     Formerly, I believed that the scary part of a leap of faith was about all the action that would be required of me.  Now, I know that it is probably more frightening to decide and to maintain a conscious commitment.  It is the responsibility of the decision that is much more intimidating than and action by the choice.  I have learned that to make a leap of faith I must "be still and know that I am God". (Psalms 46:10) I must be still and choose .  A leap of of faith is a decision.