The
Ego
For the period of time between
December 11th and January 11th, I was living
with a great amount of stress. Oddly enough, all the “good” stuff I
know how to do to keep myself sane typically slips by the wayside
when I am stressed. Good eating, meditation, sleep all take a
backseat to the powerful voice of fear and my ego. There seems to
“not be enough time to sit still” and regroup. I tend to overload
myself with too much information and then sleep is nowhere to be
found, all because I can’t seem to quiet that judgmental parasitic
voice in my head.
What is the ego? It has been defined
in many ways throughout history. Freud said that the ego occupied
an actual place in your brain. It was the job of the EGO to manage
or balance the ID and the Super Ego. He said it was “practicality”
between hedonism and idealism. The Toltecs call the Ego the voice
of the judge that leads us into the dream of “Hell.” A Course in
Miracles says that “the Ego is nothing more than a delusional
system...The Ego is the mind’s belief that it is totally on its
own.” (Dr. Helen Schucman, A Course in Miracles). The
metaphysicians say it is an acronym standing for Edging God
Out. I believe it is a combination of the metaphysical and
the Toltec. I believe it to be the judgmental voice in my head
that, when I listen to it, actively Edges God Out
and kills my truth and authenticity and causes me to throw my power
away left and right.
The voice of the Ego is the voice of
“it’s a hard and difficult world.” The Ego mind makes others wrong
and itself right. It dominates and avoids being dominated - it
justifies itself through invalidating others. It throws service,
joy, and connection completely out the window. The Ego fights so
hard because it believes that it is our filter system through which
we must view the world. When in reality the Ego is the voice that
creates the limiting boxes in which we live. When you act from the
Ego’s language you are not acting on the voice of God within but
rather the voice of fear and control.
Your Ego is your judge, your victim,
your self importance. It’s this voice that separates you from your
authenticity, truth, God. It separates you from the connections you
really desire to create. It says “If you don’t have the right kind
of blood line, the right idea of God, the right income or education
(there is always something the Ego can find to cause separation),
Then “it’s not okay.” If you really believed yourself to be one
with all things then this Ego separation would disappear.
Unfortunately for most us, even if we have a cognitive understanding
of this connection, we don’t seem to live it.
It is my belief that the role of the
ego has been to protect us emotionally. Because its role is
emotional protection, it needs to perceive threats where none exist,
where only the potential is present. Because this potential is
present in every human interaction (simply due to the fact that we
are emotional beings), what ends up occurring is that we are under
constant threat. This potential is enhanced because so many of us
do not express emotion and are walking around with it in excess;
this much intensity increases the “threat.” What happens because of
this is that the ego sees danger in situations where a minimal
amount of danger actually exists.
All the troubles, issues, problems in
the world stem from one belief. They stem from our belief that we
are separate from GOD, each other, and the Earth. This separation
creates the space for fear to exist and grow. If I am here and
separate from you over there then suddenly there is the possibility
that you may have something, do something, or be something that I
cannot have, do, or be. If I am connected to you over there then I
am with you sharing whatever it is that you are experiencing. You
cannot have, do, or be something that I am not a part of or able to
share. This is the language of inclusion.
The words of our Ego spell
exclusivity. They are elitist. We are living on a planet that is
completely threatened by exclusion and separation. If we are to
survive we must begin to live the truth of connected-ness. We must
shut off the voice of the Ego and refuse to see a threat in every
situation. We must be aware of the illusion of separation created
by our Egos, join our hearts, and live as one. Blessed be.
Michelle L. McClellan, Psy.D. © 2008
