Wounded-ness
Whether it is the pressure of Mercury Retrograde, the visual symbol
that nature is giving us about her cycle of closure (winter drawing
near) or something else entirely, the concept of wounded-ness has
been presenting itself in my work. Far be it for me to ignore
this nudge from the Universe.
The damage created by wounded-ness is immense in its pervasiveness
and subtlety. It impacts practical everyday life on a
consistent basis by showing up daily in unexpected ways. For
one thing, it is our wounded-ness that causes us to get involved in
the drama of life. It does this because it exists in
our bodies in a mostly unconscious form. It is irrelevant
whether you are aware of this energy or not, it is still creating.
This energy then causes any threat of being “hurt”, to pull this
wounded-ness into action. The trouble with this is that the
signals regarding potential hurt are most often not reflective of
the truth or that of real danger. Most of these threats are
perceived. They are simply reflections of the past that our
wounded selves have used as “red flags” to warn us of potential
impending doom. They are reactions to the smallest indication
that we might be hurt; a word, a glance or even the absence of a
word or glance triggers the idea that there is danger because of a
past hurtful experience. Since most of the threats to our
safety are not real, our reaction can be excessive and chaotic.
Our unconscious desperation regarding not being hurt takes control
of the situation creating drama in it’s illusion.
From an energetic standpoint wounded-ness also causes us to
expect hurt. The wounded energy in our body sets up the
motivating paradigm that says, “In any and every circumstance, I
could be hurt." It makes it so that every time you walk into a
situation you initially unconsciously think “I could get hurt here.”
True, any person, place or thing, can cause harm to us, but not
every person, place, or thing is desirous of causing harm to us.
By unconsciously focusing on the potential for personal damage, you
have already set-up the environment as being unsafe. You have
also set up the people involved in the situation to hurt you whether
they ever had the intention or not. One more set up exists
with yourself; you are so vigilant to the hurt that anything which
has the slightest sound or appearance of an old situation that was
hurtful will send you into reacting out of your wounded-ness.
All this produces a very sad outcome. It turns life into a
big “pain management” fest making its sole purpose, the relief of
pain. No wonder there is so much effort to numb ourselves!
We over-eat, over-drink, over-sex (and whatever other addictions are
out there). We over-watch (media), over- extend (physical,
mental, emotional, and spiritual burnout), over-spend (financially,
and in other energy types, such as time), all in a effort to try to
“fix” this sense of hurt that we carry. None of this works
because in actuality it’s all an effort to “cover up” the wounded-ness.
Covering up doesn’t reduce the wounded energy. Indeed it has
exactly the opposite effect, because “That which you resist,
persists.” Not going through the energy, but rather avoiding it
grows our hurt through resistance. This creates an
implosive cycle invariably causing more pain.
It also creates the situation in which we miss opportunities and
stay stuck making it at least appear that we have comfort in this
pain. We settle and stay in the settling thinking that life is
about any kind of momentary “stay” of hurtful feelings. This
leads to our greatly under-estimating our value. A sad part of
this understanding is that until you work on the pain within
yourself most of the time you don’t even know you are settling.
Further precaution is taken to balance the surprise of wounded-ness.
Because of the unconscious nature of this “stuffed” wounded energy,
in situations that are unexpected, the wounded-ness can overwhelm
us. To avoid this, some of the time we put ourselves in
hurtful environments. This way we at least know when we will
be wounded removing any chance for surprise.
Oddly enough it is our wounded-ness and desire to not be hurt that
allows us to hurt one another. And, it allows us to hurt the Earth.
Our hurt causes us to be self-centered which diminishes our service
efforts. Wounded-ness in the more global picture gives us
unbridled and extremist activism and vigilantism. The combined
energy of many wounded people produces a motivating energy of hurt.
To heal ourselves and the planet, a more magnanimous approach is
needed.
Ironically it is our hurt that makes us equal. Internally, we
are all wounded children desperately seeking love, connected-ness
and healing. Some of us wander around in pain for a lifetime having
to close ourselves down at every turn, every person, every
experience. Some of us use our wounded-ness as an opportunity.
By opening to the hurt, we open up to all the love in the Universe.
Namaste.
"I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts than there
is no hurt.” – Mother Teresa
Michelle L. McClellan, Psy.D. ©
